Movie Review: Seventh Son

dragon-lady  Hello all! Lol, I’ve been seeing *a lot* of movies lately. XD So here’s another review for you – Seventh Son! 😀

  Starring: Jeff Bridges (Master Gregory), Ben Barnes (Tom Ward), Julianne Moore (Mother Malkin), Alicia Vikander (Alice)

Plot (taken from IMDb):

“Young Thomas is apprenticed to the local Spook to learn to fight evil spirits. His first great challenge comes when the powerful Mother Malkin escapes her confinement while the Spook is away.”

Trailer:

Characters:

Jeff Bridges (Master Gregory) – I love this actor, and he plays the kind of character he’s especially good at here. Quirky and sarcastic and kind of badass. His lack of honesty drove me crazy though.

Ben Barnes (Tom Ward) – He did a good job of playing Master Gregory’s apprentice. There were moments where he was lacking in the common sense. And the caution. But I did like his character.

Julianne Moore (Mother Malkin) – I love this actress too, and she did a really good job of playing the villain here. I had some issues with her and her obsessions as well though.

Alicia Vikander (Alice) – I liked this character all right, but I’m not sure I really got her. She was also dangerously low on the common sense and caution. I did not understand certain decisions she made, but she was tough, and I liked her over all.

Review Rant:

*ugh*

You know what, Seventh Son? You’re lucky you’re pretty, and had a great cast.

This would have been right up there (down there?) in the dreaded Emergency Cake section with Dragon Wars and Sleeping Beauty otherwise.

*shudder*

You just had to go and sacrifice the plot for all the flashy, pretty.

Why??

I *LOVE* sparkly CGI and explosions, so if I’m saying this there is a really big problem.

Most of the major plot twists were just too easy.

As much as I loved the CGI, battle scenes, and the awesome secondary characters, everything else was just too convenient. It all just happened to fall into place in obvious ways.

They kind of took a Maleficent approach to the villain, only this one was more needy, and not nearly as badass partly because of that.

This is not Julianne Moore’s fault. I would watch her in a Broadway production of The Misadventures of a Curious Paper Bag (if such a thing existed). Same goes for Jeff Bridges.

I love them both. This is not their doing.

They did great with their roles, but she would have been much more terrifying if her character hadn’t still been a homicidal lovesick fool for a dude that locked her in a pit of despair for decades, and he would have been much cooler in general if he were more honest and didn’t have a shriveled up piece of driftwood for a heart through most of the movie.

Don’t get me wrong, this Fatal Attraction type thing between the two of them worked, but I would have liked to see another dimension to both of them. I feel like there was more there.

Romance in on the cards for Tom Ward (Ben Barnes) and half-witch Alice (Alicia Vikander) in Seventh Son.

And, on that note, here’s how the main romance went down:

“Oh? So you’re a witch? Cool beans. Oh? As in one of the witches I’m supposed to hunt and kill?…. ‘Sup baybee?”

sad-cat

“Easy mode, activate! …Oh, it’s already activated? …Well shit, what do we do now? Let’s throw a CGI dragon in there to fill the void where the plot should have been!”

I has a disappoint.

Yeah. And certain people did not have to part ways at the end. It made zero sense, considering all that transpired before. Obviously nobody cares anymore, and if you’re the only one left, there’s no one to tell you not to do the thing that you so obviously want to do, and which hurts nobody to do.

*sigh*

Really, Seventh Son? Really??

You’re making me, of all people, complain about romance?

Really?

For your crimes you’ve earned a warning cupcake. You only have yourself to blame.

Cupcakes of HOPE

My rating for Seventh Son: Meh – *ugh* Soooo much wasted potential! Good actors and pretty CGI, but the plot had all kinds of issues (in my opinion). *double ugh* I’m glad I saw it, but I won’t be buying this one. It irked me too much by teasing me with hints of how good it could have been. Check this one out if you like moves like Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters or Season of the Witch, or pretty CGI fantasy in general.

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My Rating System:

Epic: This movie is so mind-bogglingly awesome that I may go see it twice. This one will have a place of honor on my shelf.

Cash-Worthy: Good stuff. This will most likely find a place on my shelf.

Not Bad: I liked it. I’m glad I saw it, and it may or may not end up on my shelf at some point. I would say rent it first to be safe.

Meh: Rent it first. You may love it or hate it, but I’m indifferent probably because it’s not my type of movie. I’m glad I saw it, but it won’t end up on my shelf.

Emergency Cake: I have an emotional reaction to movies sometimes, especially to tragedies. If a movie makes me sad or angry, sometimes it will stick with me for a while. At these times, only chocolate cake can save me. Chocolate cake makes everything better. No shelf for you. Ever.

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Artwork Credits:

I got the art from my greeting ~ here.

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14 thoughts on “Movie Review: Seventh Son

  1. disperser says:

    I think this movie was delayed a number of times, so I imagine the studio knew it was less than it could have been.

    Again, another movie that will wait for one of the streaming venues before I watch it.

    Come to think of it, I should get back into reviewing movies . . . if course, mine would be months after their initial release.

    • paigeaddams says:

      Ah, I didn’t realize it had been delayed. Lol, I kind of wish it would have been delayed a little more. I really, *really* wanted to love it, and there were many moments where I felt like they could have dug a little deeper.

      And I always love your movie reviews! 😀 I’d love to see what you say about this one. Lol, the only reason I do reviews so soon after release is because I’m a *huge* movie addict and I watch *way* too many. XD I have to try to do them soon after I see them, or I forget all kinds of things. I’ve actually been thinking of doing a series of reviews on older favorites of mine too. I love movies, and either picking them apart or raving about how much I love them, so why not? XD So I’d say go for it, even if the movies you want to review have been out a while. 😀

      And I still totally want to do some kind of dueling review post with you someday too! 😀

    • disperser says:

      Here’s one that I recently watched and was very impressed with the story, nuances, action, and funny dialog . . .

  2. Moongazer says:

    I am currently reading the series of bookd that these are based on and I am just gobsmacked at how much they havr mangled a perfectly good plot and changed characters. Its mad!!
    Tom Ward is 13 years old for starters. Mother Malkin is dead (but in the books witches have a kind of semi zombie second life after they die. And dragons??? WTF?!?!
    I would never in a million years have cast Jeff Bridges as Gregory.
    I really feel for the author. If they were my books I would be weeping over my chocolate cake.

    • paigeaddams says:

      Lol, oh wow – I had no idea how much they had changed! I heard after I saw it that it was based on a series of books – it’s a real shame that they mangled it. Lmao – and I’m with you – I’d have the chocolate cake too, if it were me. I’ll definitely have to check out the books though, since you said it’s a lot different. 🙂

      • Moongazer says:

        😀 I am enjoying the books but they are aimed at a teen audience and are very ‘easy’ reads, so I recommend buying them second hand. I think I’d have felt a bit cheated if I’d paid full price because you could probably fit all 13 (?) spooks books into one Game of Thrones novel.

      • paigeaddams says:

        Thank you for the heads up! 😀 Hopefully I’ll be able to find some copies at a local shop. ‘Easy’ reads can be a lot of fun – especially if you don’t have as much time to dedicate to reading as you’d like. There are several teen and young adult (are they the same? Lol, I’m never clear on the age/genre lines) series that I absolutely love. Have you ever read the Artemis Fowl series, by Eoin Colfer? The first book has one of my all-time favorite book quotes: ‘Artemis cleared his throat. “Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.”‘ XD

      • Moongazer says:

        Hahaha!! 😀 and Artemis is 12 isnt he? LOL
        I haven’t read them – yet – but I think I might have to, especially after seeing that quote coz they sound like a lot of fun. Thank you for the tip 😀

      • paigeaddams says:

        Lol, yep he’s just 12 – he’s one of those boy genius types, and a really interesting character over all. Lol, I don’t want to ruin it for you, so I won’t go too much into detail. And you’re welcome – let me know what you think if you read them. 😀

  3. Moongazer says:

    PS – did I read that right? They added a romance between Gregory and Mother Malkin? *faints*
    Mother Malkin hated Spooks. And Gregory had been in love for decades, with a Lamia Witch called Meg, which is actually a really sad part of the overall story.

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